Thursday, November 18, 2010

I'm crazy I know...

HEY people!
You still out there? Lucky for you, I'm gonna link this post up to my "other" blog. Because I'm like that.
I've been busy lately. I'm looking for a job. And hopefully I can find one REAL soon too. This making money off of Twitter takes WAY too long to do.
I need rent money.
I need grocery money.
I need christmas money.
I need...I need...I need....
*sigh*
I also need chocolate. Chocolate makes me feel better.
And you know what else makes me feel better?
Comments....LOL.
I know you are out there. I know you LUB me. I know you are busy.
But just scribble anything out on a comment.
For example, "Luv U CB!"
"I love your videos!"
"I love this post, cause I SO need a massage right now!"
"You can be my CNA anytime you want!" (In a strictly professional way of course....GET YOUR minds OUT of the gutter...Geez. What is it you think I do anyway?) LOL.
AnyBlogpost, what was the point of this post anyway?
Hee-hee. I'm like that. Rambly and all.
Well, I AM excited to actually be getting into the medical field once again.
I love nursing. Someday, and maybe someday soon..ish, I will be a nurse.
And I will be able to heal all of you...
But for now....Laughter is the only medicine I can prescribe for you....
So with that READ my hilarious Thanksgiving story.
(If you are lucky enough to be my FB friend I posted there too.)

This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her gasp for air, and her eyes water. Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor, she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.
The years went by and he continued to rip them out. Then one thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the innards, neck, gizzard, liver, and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs to her sleeping husband, and gently pulled the bed covers back, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic foot steps as he ran into the bath room. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.
About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, 'honey you were right.' 'all these years you have warned me and i didn't listen to you…' 'what do you mean?' asked his wife. 'Well, you told me that one day i would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of god, some Vaseline and two fingers. I think i got most of them back in.'

Peace out y'all! Happy Thursday. Only one more day until Friday....

6 comments:

  1. K that story is just a nasty...funny how farting makes everyone laugh!

    I could use some chocolate!!!

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  2. EWWWWWW!!!!! GROOOOOSSSSSSS!!!!! But funny. And yes, dear Alexis, YOU are funny and will be a wonderful nurse for those who need their hearts and spirits lifted. :)

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  3. yep, I'm voting for totally grossed out - :)

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  4. Good luck with the job search! I hope you accidentally get a job as a doctor. That would be awesome.

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  5. That was hilarious! What a hoot you are lady:) Good luck with the job interviews. I still have not found one up here myself. I know how frustrating it can be:/ Hang in there tho'

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